Step 1- Liberals must admit that they are powerless over their addiction to big government, entitlements and their hatred of George W. Bush, God, economic freedom, individual liberty and capitalism.

Step 2- Liberals must come to believe that a power greater than government can restore us to sanity.

Step 3- Liberals must make a decision to turn their will and their lives over to the care of God.   They must first accept that there is a God and that our nation lives as one nation under God and that God was the creator of all the hot Fox News babes.   

Step 4- Liberals must make a searching and fearless moral inventory of themselves realizing that a generally miserable disposition is the foundation of their being and that they are not happy unless they spread their misery around to others who have achieved greater success in life.

Step 5- Liberals must admit to God and themselves the exact nature of their wrongs which include censorship of free speech, unionization, gun control, socialist indoctrination in government education, welfare, entitlements, coddling of terrorists, appeasement of illegal alien, compassion for murderers, rapists and pedophiles, disdain for sanctity of marriage and general heterophobia.

Step 6- Liberals must be ready to have God remove all of these defects of character.

Step 7- Liberals must humbly ask God to remove their shortcomings.

Step 8- Liberals must make a list of all persons they have harmed and be willing to make amends to them. This list will be incredibly long, so be prepared to spend lots of time on this one.

Step 9- Liberals must make direct amends to all that they have harmed which would include anyone from whom the government routinely steals money from.

Step 10- Liberals must continually take personal inventory and when they are wrong promptly admit it. This includes support for censoring free speech, the Fairness Doctrine, gun control, illegal aliens, terrorists and criminals in general, gay marriage, pedophilia, NAMBLA, racism, unions, fascism, big government, taxes, propagandist education monopolies, tofu, hybrids, NOW,  Chavez, Castro, Marx, Lenin, Stalin and Carter, infanticide, welfare and entitlements.   

Step 11- Liberals must seek prayer and meditation to improve conscious contact with God, praying only for knowledge of God’s will for them and the power to carry that out while watching Fox News or listening to Neal Boortz.

Without fail, the dawn of the new year brings about the inevitable bevy of new laws to hit the books across the fruited plain.   Effective January 1, 2009, it is now illegal to pee in New Hampshire and those who have the sudden, uncontrollable urge to do so will be faced with a $1000 dollar fine. Of course, the law goes on to say that the person urinating must know that they will be offending someone.   I guess this is a case where ignorance truly is bliss.

In California it is now illegal to text while driving. So let me get this straight, it’s perfectly fine to come across the border, live on the dole and get in state college tuition rates but it’s no longer acceptable to text my illegal alien cousin in Fresno while I drive my low rider through the barrios of East LA.

In Oregon, transfats are now banned.   Yes, another example of idiocy led by liberals who seek to control everything from bodily functions to waistlines. It’s a good thing that there aren’t any transfats in the pot that is legal there. 

In Illinois it is now illegal for contractors with more than $50,000 in state contracts to contribute to the office holder who oversees the deal. At least they excluded Senate seats from this punitive measure that is part and parcel to how business in the most corrupt state in the land is conducted. 

What this amounts to is more evidence that we have far too many unaccountable bureaucrats deciding how we can and can’t live our lives, caring nothing of the masses in their never ending quest for complete government control.

There is nothing wrong with new laws, if they are sensible. Laws that would deport illegal aliens and make illegal border crossings a felony punishable by death would make sense. Rather than banning transfats, wouldn’t it make more sense to sentence anyone driving slow in the fast lane to a month in jail? 

There are a number of things that our legislators could be doing, but are choosing not to.   We need laws to separate schools and state, ban teachers unions and preserve the right to free speech.  

How about some real sensible electioneering laws, like requiring that voters pass a test before they can cast their ballot.   It need not be overly difficult, but perhaps knowing the name of your Senators and Congressional Rep would be a start. Heck even having to know the sum of 1+1 would get rid of half the Obama constituency. 

So why is it when we have a need for real laws that would have a meaningful impact do we find legislators passing what can be described as complete idiocy? Banning transfats, seriously. What next, banning SUV’s, fireplaces and charcoal grilles? 

Take a look around at what liberals have in their crosshairs and this isn’t as far fetched as one may believe.   Liberals are already seeking to ban free speech with something called the Fairness Doctrine.   They are continuing their never ending assault to ban your right to defend your family from criminals, the only people they deem worthy of the right to bear arms.   Perhaps the most sensible law that we could ever pass would be a permanent ban on liberalism, a disease that afflicts nearly one half of our population who are either too dumb or too uninformed to know that there is a cure called common sense.  

Christopher Van

www.christophervan.com

When you read my blog, The Diary of an Illegal, you will learn all about the day I woke up as a Mexican.  Mind you, I wasn't a law abiding American of Mexican ancestry, I was an illegal alien who got all kinds of free government swag like an education, welfare, healthcare and even the right to vote.  Well that experience was so liberating that today I decided to wake up as a Democrat.   Now I’m not just any ol’ Democrat, I am an honest to God liberal right out of the mold of the very people who run, own and operate the modern day Democratic Party with ideals far different from the party of yesteryear where there actually was an understanding of national defense, capitalism and the American culture. 

As I awoke I found myself chanting Bush lied, people died.   I suddenly realized that this was a war for oil being run by Halliburton!   I asked myself about needless soldier fatalities.   Suddenly I was hit with the realization that were actually more active duty military fatalities during the Clinton years than since George W. Bush took office.  Hey, I’m a liberal today and I will not let facts get in the way of my new found enlightenment.   

I mean consider what liberals have done for us, giving us wonderful entitlements such as social security, a forced retirement plan where money is involuntarily taken from both my employer and me.    This cash is put into a social security trust and I must remain oblivious to the fact that this trust was raided by Democrats a generation ago to use as a slush fund to cover the costs of other social programs.  I mean if it weren’t for that party I may very well have to have kept my money in a Common Stock Index Fund which would have yielded me an average annual return over the past ten years of 10.99%.  I'm sure glad I have the government on my side where my yields average annual return is 1.5%.   C’mon folks, don’t let facts blur your vision either, join me in this trip to utopia where government is the solution to all.   

As a liberal I have learned to accept other forms of marriage, ending that despicable form of discrimination called traditional marriage.  Sure, I can support Neil marrying Bob, but in order to not be a hypocrite I realize that my now enlightened viewpoint will allow anyone to get married.   Enjoy your sisters companionship? Go get hitched.  Gee Dad, will you marry me too?  How about Mom and Dad and son?    We can't discriminate against bestiality, come on over Fido and join the new enlightened approach to marriage where anyone can marry anyone with no limit to the number of partners!  

Wow, I am feeling so liberated with this new outlook on life.   I am going to give my guns away and hope that someone robs me so that I can share my possessions with them, as they must truly be less fortunate than I.  Maybe as a society we can put down all of our arms and hope that criminals will do the same.    We can even abolish the military because we know that terrorists respect our way of life and illegal aliens respect our sovereignty.

In fact, I want to invite all of Mexico to come here illegally.   Come on down, and bring your family.   You can even pop out a kid who is granted citizenship.   Se habla Espanol? You better, because it's the new official language of Los Estados Unidos. With my new found enlightenment I have half a mind to demand that end that horrible practice of giving people the option of pressing one for English.   After all, if you want to be in our liberated nation, you darn well better know the language.  Comprende? 

This is awesome; I never knew that these ideas could be so effective and make me feel so good about myself.   We need to do more to end global warming.   We should ban cars, trucks, planes and motorcycles.  Let's close every factory in the world that emits carbons.   We need to ban furnaces and fires and barbecue grilles.  Look, I know that the earth has had warmer historical periods but I’ve already told you to leave facts out of this, as my liberal ideals carry more weight than any fact or statistic you can provide.  Besides, as a liberal I can buy some carbon credits to continue with my wasteful ways as I am only demanding you stop yours.

Wow, don’t you love the world of liberalism where one is never to be offended?  I am so glad to be done with free speech and expression.  I even saw  someone wearing a Cleveland Indian t-shirt and called the PC police to haul him off to jail because the logo was offensive to the natives.   Isn't wonderful to have a progressive viewpoint that allows for the burning of flags and desecration of Bibles because they offend some sensibilities.    I don’t care if the nation is 90% Christian because democracy is only selectively applied.    The media is on my side, always supporting liberal ideals, except for Fox News who I will ultimately have shut down because dissent only disturbs my agenda with facts that undermine my views. 

I guess I could go on and on about the wonders of liberalism learned during this odyssey of self discovery.    Fortunately I woke up from this nightmare to the reality that liberalism is actually at the root of every single problem facing our nation for the past fifty years.     Is there any crisisthat can't be traced directly back to some liberal ideal?  Perhaps that is the question we should be pondering as 2008 approaches us with a caste of radical left wing characters that would make Stalin himself quite proud.